I Know....I'll Never Be the Same Again

I am a discontented and doubtful girl full of questions and fears about life. I have lived quite a comfortable life but I am not happy about it, I always want more. I always wish to be someone else, to have someone else’s life. I have always believed that I am inferior, that I am of no great importance. I always try to fit in and to belong but people always make me feel that I am unwelcomed. I grew up believing that I have to please everybody.  And the world made me believe that I don’t deserve the beautiful things in life.

            These were all true not until Christ came into my life, knocked into my heart and filled my spirit and soul. It’s still clear in my memory when I first heard the word of God. I was in second year college in the year of 2008, month of October. My classmates and I were in the province of Laguna for an outreach activity. After our first day, one of our leaders invited us for a Bible study. I felt so disappointed because I badly wanted to rest but it would be so unkind if I’ll decline it, so hesitantly, I joined. That night, I felt Christ moved into my heart but I can’t say that I immediately accepted His gift of salvation; I still have doubts about certain things.  I then regularly attended the Bible study led by my classmates and I felt my life and perceptions about life seemed to change little by little but I still felt like my acceptance and surrender aren’t still complete.

April 2009 came; I was invited by a friend in a summer camp in Zambales. I didn’t have second thoughts about it since I felt like I want more of God. My 2-day stay in the camp taught me a lot of things that opened my heart and mind. But if there’s one thing that remained in my mind that is if I want more of Him, there should be less of me. After that camp, I know I have never been the same again. I didn’t change dramatically but at least I know where to head now and that wherever this life will bring me I will never be alone, God will be there to stand for me. And so after that, I prayed for a church which will nurture my spiritual growth and will be a place for my service to Christ. God heard my prayers and brought me to The Vines Mission Church, here I came to know Pastor Chris Nicodemus, a man of God, whose life is devoted into serving Christ. I started attending the church on November 2009. And since then, the members became like brothers and sisters to each other like a one big happy family whose aim is to always give glory to God and to reach out to those people around.

After I this, tons of favors and blessings from God came into my life. I was so happy and proud to get through one of the toughest stages in my life with God: and that is to finish college. I know I won’t make it without God. I’ll always be thankful to God for allowing me to fulfill my dream of becoming a teacher and I’m more than fulfilled and grateful to be using this to serve God.

Now, gone are the days when I feel sorry about myself. I now know my value in Christ. I now learned to appreciate and be thankful for whatever comes my way. I know God has a perfect plan for me. He wants nothing but the best for me. I just have to put my complete trust in Him. He loves me unconditionally and there’s not a thing that will make Him love me less.  And so wherever this life will lead me, I won’t be afraid and be disheartened, God is with me.

“The Lord is my light and my salvation, whom shall I fear?...

The Lord is the stronghold of my life, to whom shall I be afraid of?”

                                                                                   Psalm 27:1

Your God-Ordained Love Story

“I encourage you to have faith in God. Believe you are ‘fearfully and wonderfully made’.  Look and behave like a well-kept woman. The man that God has reserved for you will see and recognize your specialness because you are the piece of himself that he’s been missing. You will complete the puzzle of his life.”

-Michelle McKinney Hammond, What To Do Until Love Finds You

            How wonderful is that? Overwhelming, isn’t it? Yes. The God of everything under the earth and universe does care about the man you’ll end up with.

 I’m almost half-way the book I’m currently reading and I can say that this is probably one of the messages which really made me reflect and made me excited all the more but patient in love.

As quoted, the first key to finding love is to have faith in God. Believe that He loves you and that He has the perfect timing for everything in your life including the person you’ll spend the rest of your life with. Be patient because He’s probably at work in orchestrating every single piece in your life to end up with ‘him’. Never doubt his power over everything on earth. Never exclude Him on any thing in your life.

“….I am fearfully and wonderfully made”(Psalm 139:14). I am and so you are. God is certain when He made each one of us. So, there’s no point that we have to feel sorry of who we are. Everything about us is innately wonderful and worth loving. We don’t need to compromise anything about ourselves just to be loved.

When Hammond said that we have to look and behave like a well-kept woman she meant that we have to act according to how precious we are in God’s eyes. Running over love and making desperate moves don’t qualify as a behavior of a highly valued and dearly loved woman of God. So, it should never be seen in us.

The man that God made for you will appreciate and love you for who you are. He’ll always feel blessed to have you because you’ll complete his being and existence.

Have faith and wait. You don’t need to waste your time on relationships that are not God-willed. And you don’t need to frustrate your self just to find ‘him’.  Don’t find love let love find you.

 “When God presents you to your mate, it is going to be better than you ever imagined because God does all things well.” It will surely be an extraordinary event with an incomparable feeling with the amazingly-made man. It already happened to many then, it’s happening to few now and it will happen to you soon.

His Princess

To be treated as a princess is every girl’s dream in this world. And I’m no exception to that.

            If there’s one thing in life that I feel so blessed about, that is to have him. I don’t know how miserable life would be without him around. I can’t imagine life being with someone else.

            I can clearly remember how he rejoiced for every single triumph I pulled off,            how he grieved when I faced the deepest hurts in life, how he encouraged me when I’m battling with failures, how he made me feel loved when no one else seems to care and how delighted he was seeing me grow through life.

            Simple joys. Petty hurts. Big dreams. Unusual thoughts. Sweet success. Silly feelings. Painful failures. Incomparable achievements. Troubling frustrations. Sleepless nights. Restless days. Stressful life. These were among the many things I was able to share to and with him. And it’s still counting. And he never gets tired. He never does.

            I never felt so much loved by someone as much as he did, he does and perhaps, he will. He never fails to make me feel special. He never did.

To be his princess is probably the most rewarding thing that I could ever attain in my life. It would be much to ask for more. And I never would.

I just hope that someday, in the best way that I can, I would able to bring back even half of all the love that he has given me and is still giving.

No matter what I’ll be encountering in the future, I know that I’ll never be alone. He’s with me. I’m his princess, as he always makes me feel.:)

*To him, for him, through him, with him.